Dear Messrs. Flaherty and Toews,
I don't own a fancy corporate jet to fly in and come begging for money. But I would like to know if you'd be interested in giving me a bailout, too? It'd be a fraction of what you're going to fork over to the auto sector--and if Mr. Campbell has his way, the forestry sector, though I'm a bit more sympathetic to their plight since the decline of B.C.'s forestry industry has adversely affected my family's livelihood--and if you like I'll give you a list of exactly where every penny would go. That's already three things in my favour vis-a-vis the auto people: no big jet to make me look like an ass when I come around with my hands open, small amount, and it's not a blank cheque.
Why on Earth would you want to give me, a regular guy with a book and a graduate degree, a bailout when you can give so much more money to corporations? Well, I'm a real spark plug for the economy. I like to buy stuff. I'd like to buy a car, but a good car, one that is enviro-friendly and good on the mileage. I'd like to buy a house, preferably one in B.C., and go about that sort of thing. Heck, I'd like to invest in the stock market. Like the Prime Minister said, now's a great time to get some deals and I'd really like to do that. With all my wages freed up, I'd be able to do all of these things. So there's my pitch to wipe the slate clean and let me do my part to keep Canada's economy strong and on the upswing. You probably won't go for it, but hey, if I don't ask I definitely won't be able to get a piece of the action.